Wednesday, December 24, 2008
(Re)writing better copy

This is from a post on Seth Godin's blog – an inner dialog on improving signage for a coffee brand, which reads "Unlike Any Coffee You've Ever Tasted Before.":

Wait. Why the capitals?

"Unlike any coffee you've ever tasted before."

"Before" is redundant.

"Unlike any coffee you've ever tasted."

Too negative. And why is "unlike" a positive trait? I mean, boiled leech guts is also unlike any coffee I've ever tasted, that doesn't mean I want to drink it. How about:

"The best coffee you've ever tasted."

Well, the thing is, the only coffee that matters is coffee I've tasted, right, so we could get shorter still:

"The best coffee."

The problem with that is that it's nothing but bragging. Of course you think it's the best coffee. So what? You're lying. And even if you're not lying, how do you know it's the best? Compared to what?

This is where the smart copywriter becomes a marketer.

"Better than Starbucks."

Well, it's still bragging. This is the moment where the marketer becomes a smart marketer and realizes that changing the offer or the product is more important than changing the hype.

Are we better than Starbucks?"
- Corinna vanGerwen
About Me
Corinna vanGerwen


Corinna vanGerwen is a freelance editor and writer. She has worked as senior editor at Style at Home, senior design editor at Cottage Life and is the former Canadian Director of Ed2010. She has also held the position of operations manager at a boutique PR agency, where she handled strategic planning and daily operations.

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Corinna says:
Thank you, Alicia!...
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